Respect – Tips on how to give and get more

I get No Respect

It doesn’t matter which personality profile you have, all of us seem to desire respect.

The comedian Rodney Dangerfield’s catch phrase was “I get No R-E-S-P-E-C-T!” Nobody wants to feel like Rodney did.

People want to be acknowledged for their abilities, qualities, and achievements; however, when I ask “How do you earn another persons respect?”

I get varying answers back.

Some people will answer you give it to get it. When I ask, “How you do that?”

They have no answer for me.

When they dig a little deeper they start listing items or actions that they are expecting the other person to  admire them for.

Then I ask, “Who’s R-E-S-P-E-C-T Scorecard are you using?”

After a brief evaluation they figure out they are using their internal R-E-S-P-E-C-T Scorecard.

Doing the things you regard highly and expecting others to give you points for them is foolish, but this seems to be the system most people are using and the system doesn’t work.

To correct this pattern of behavior is easy.

All you have to do is walk up to someone and ask, “What five things do you regard in a co-worker?” or “What five things (behaviors) you don’t admire?” you will quickly determine his or her R-E-S-P-E-C-T Scorecard by which you are judged. (Remember to take notes)

Now you know what qualities, abilities, and achievements this person counts.  Once you know you can adjust your behaviors accordingly.

Pay close attention to when you feel disrespected, in fact make note of these specific events you will find them insightful.

Once you understand what behaviors triggered your feeling, you can share this with other people.

Others may not realize their actions are triggering this feeling in you.

If you never discuss it with them they may never know and continue on oblivious of how their actions are being evaluated against your scorecard.


Respect Team Building Activity

You can do this as part of a team event or as part of a new employee orientation process.

Get the individual to fill out a R-E-S-P-E-C-T Scorecard, top five things you regard in others, top five behaviors that take away points.

In a Team setting everyone would share their scorecard with the group. After the event they can be collected and typed up and put into a format useful by the team.

During an employee orientation session they would ask the person they are meeting what is on their R-E-S-P-E-C-T Scorecard and make notes so that they would understand what actions are important to others.

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